It's Called Disappointing Your Parents, Len
by Mr boaty mcboatface
Summary: Basic, trash plot containing incest. The Rin/Len fandom is dead anyway, so I can't be bothered to put a synopsis.


It all began with the accidental discovery of that godforsaken birth certificate.

My parents, who aren't really my parents but I've known that my whole life anyway, went on some skiing trip up in Hokkaido one winter vacation, leaving me with a list of chores and the whole house to myself for a week.

It was great, _in theory_ , besides the fact that my fourteen-year-old self knew shit all about Basic Adult Things, such as cooking and cleaning, and vice versa. A lot of insight came out of that week of burning fucking noodles, not once, but _thrice_ , and accidentally turning all of my white t-shirts pink while simultaneously flooding the laundry with soap suds.

A lot.

Which takes me back to, 'oopsie-daisies, I found my birth certificate while cleaning out the office drawers, how nice – wait _what_ '. Little did I know that simple discovery would _fuck everything up,_ ten-fold.

It was this little portion of the paper, right in the corner; a series of boxes with labels such as 'Single birth' and 'Twins' and 'Triplets'. This little portion.

This _tiny_ portion.

That, no, did _not_ have a big red tick through the 'Single birth' box, much to my utter _shock_ and _dismay_. That dreaded big red tick was elsewhere.

In the box with 'Twins' next to it.

 _Twins._

 _Twins?!_

Um, excuse me. What? _Where?_ Where is this twin you speak of?

Anyway, so at first I was like, "Oh."

But then I was like, " _Oh_."

And if it had not been for my unrelated parents putting a strict 'Don't Call Us Unless There's an Emergency' rule up in the air before their excuse to probably fuck each other sideways all day holiday, I would have picked up the phone and chucked a tantrum.

Instead I sat down and stared at my birth certificate for half-an-hour, thinking, "What if there's another _me?_ "

I'd never really experienced what you would call an 'existential crisis'. But here I was. Having an existential crisis.

Not even the thought that _maybe I like dicks_ and _vaginas_ had triggered such a response as… as a mere big red tick did.

Anyway, so yeah.

I continued to mull over this challenging discovery for the remainder of the week, up until the day my parents returned from their holiday – in which as soon as I opened the door to let them inside, I asked, "I have a _twin?_ "

I didn't even greet them or ask them how their 'skiing' vacation went. That was second priority.

Mum—her name's really Lola, but I call her Mum—blinked, not expecting such a sudden and sporadic question to be thrown at her upon return. "What?" was her initial reaction.

She exchanged glances with Dad—Tonio—who scratched his chin.

A drawn out silence followed, before he sighed. "How about we unpack the car first before we get into this kind of conversation. Len?"

I was kind of hoping for a yes or no answer straight off the bat, but I suppose he had a point.

I suppose.

So we did that. They seemed a little pissed that was what I came to them with, rather than a, "Welcome home!" and, "I missed you!" and, "I totally didn't flood the laundry or anything of the sort, ha-ha!"

But anyway, they got over it. They sat me down after every-other-thing was sorted and exchanged nervous glances with each other once again, before Mum began the conversation with, "What made you ask that question, Len?"

I frowned at them. "My birth certificate? I found it when I was cleaning."

"Oh," they said in unison.

Then Dad cleared his throat. "Well, yes. You do have a twin. A sister."

Having a week to mull over the possibility of a sibling, I'd fantasised about what it'd be like to have a brother or sister (or whatever). I _was_ hoping for a brother, because the idea of having someone looking identical to you sounded really cool – alas it would just be another parasite who shared the womb with me.

 _But_ there was no time to be disappointed with what already was. I had another question.

"Why didn't you tell me I had a sister?"

"You never asked," Mum answered automatically.

What – this wasn't something you wait for someone to _ask_ about. This was _vital knowledge!_ It was just as important as my blood type!

"Also," she continued, after a brief pause, "we know her name and the names of the couple that adopted her, however they moved to the United States a year or so after her adoption, and we lost contact."

The United States? So she could be dead, or halfway to Mars, who even knows?

I tried not to show my disappointment.

"Oh."

But failed.

I didn't really want to have to travel halfway across the globe to meet her. She could turn out to be really nasty, and she might not even know about me, either.

I mean, it had been fourteen years. In that fourteen years, surely the idea of us meeting _would've_ come up, right?

Anyway.

"Well, what's her name?" I asked.

"It was Rin, wasn't it?" Dad spoke up. Mum nodded in agreement. "Yes, Rin Kagamine was her birthname. We're not sure whether she goes by that or something else now, though. But that was her name."

Rin.

Like Len.

Our real mother, or parents, had named us, apparently. It was interesting they'd chosen names so similar. But I guess it was better than like, Shun and Jun.

I slumped back into the chair. "So there's really no way of getting in contact?"

Mum pursed her lips. "Well, we have their names. I suppose we could try. But…" She cast a look at Dad, who had his arms folded over his chest, appearing deep in thought. "We met them briefly, once, and they didn't seem very open to… letting you maintain that sibling relationship, you know? They seemed very… reserved."

"Oh," I repeated, this time not even trying to hide my disappointment.

They sighed. "But… we could still try looking into it for you. It's only fair, considering she is your sister. They may be alright with you two keeping in contact, at least," Dad said.

I sat up in my chair. "Really?"

My parents smiled wryly and nodded their heads.

"We can't promise we'll be successful," Mum pointed out. "But we'll do what we can. In the meantime, you mustn't let this distract you from studies. Understand?"

I bobbed my head.

"So how was everything while we were gone?" Dad then asked, as if he knew absolutely _everything_ had gone wrong while they were gone.

"Oh… um. _Well…_ "

He and Mum rose an eyebrow.

"I may have flooded the laundry with soap suds… a few times. But only a few. _And_ turned all my white stuff pink…"

Mum exhaled, pushing her hands into her eyes. " _Len!_ " Then she cast a glance over her shoulder at Dad.

"Don't look at me – _you're_ the one who's the expert in that thing," he said with a smirk. He turned and left the room.

"I mean, I cleaned it all up," I told her.

She just sighed again. "Remind me before the next time we go away to teach you how to use the washing machine _properly_." She stood, then muttered, "I don't even know how you do it, Len."

She followed after Dad, leaving me alone in the room.

I sat there for a few moments afterwards, staring at the family portraits and wondering about the possible future with Rin.

Would I be the same person if we'd ended up growing up together? What was she like, now? I didn't know. But I had hope that we would get along – and maybe, just maybe, she was out there searching for me, too.

* * *

Well that was shit.


End file.
